Friday, May 30, 2014

Personal Hygiene

And by hygiene, let's be frank that I mean 'personal grooming'. 

All these IVFs require intimate acquaintance with an ultrasound wand.  Mostly I don't care about how groomed I am, I mean these are professionals who have probably seen all types.  And I include myself in 'all types'.  Frankly I'm so desensitized at this point that I wouldn't need them to leave the room while I strip.  Although the stripping would contain more fat rolls and bending than is normally allowed.

Before my last retrieval I thought I should get all groomed up, you know, since it's a surgical procedure.  It should be cleaned up, right?  I've never gotten waxed, I just use a personal grooming tool.  The night before the procedure I took a relaxing (not too hot) bath, cleaned up, and then...panicked.

I had obviously been neglecting this part of my personal care and my doctor had seen me a few times in this state.  I worried that he would think in some way that I was 'coming on' to him, like 'oooo, I shaved'... on some level I knew this was ridiculous.  Upon my arrival to the clinic the next morning I found out the doctor on duty was a) not him and b) a woman.  I was actually relieved that I wouldn't need to worry about that idea anymore.

I blame the hormones, as if with 4 other people in an operating room when I am knocked out I would be 'coming onto' anyone, much less the doctor.  Maybe this is a sign of how crazy my worries become when I can't change anything about the outcome.   Or maybe I'm crazy.

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