Monday, July 7, 2014

Life Struggles

I hate my job, I hate it so much, it might* be the worst job in the world.  Here are the things that I hate about my job:
  1. I am not appreciated.
  2. My boss is a moron who doesn't understand or grasp what I do.
  3. My workplace is mostly women and is constantly dysfunctional because
    1. some women feel that if they share information it is going to jeopardize their job security
    2. some women are total bitches who just want to find fault in others
  4. My workplace is this way because top down management doesn't control or contain elements that are non-productive, whiny and/or destructive.  They shuffle the problems or promote elements that cry, complain or focus on getting themselves promoted instead of those who work hard and actually perform work. (I'm sure this is totally unique to my workplace, haha.)

Here's the reasons I stay at my job:
  1. I need, or think I need, the FMLA... which is why I am still there 4 fucking years after beginning trying to conceive.
  2. I get paid a decent amount (proof that money doesn't make me not want to say 'fuck you, I quit' nearly every day to my boss, really any money would prevent me from actually saying it.)
  3. No one "notices" when I go to appointments and counseling because I've "proved" myself.
  4. I have a lot of prestige even without supervisor recognition.  My work doesn't go unnoticed by other people and departments at my workplace.

I think a main reason I am so dissatisfied is because my life is such shit.  I wish one thing in my life would go well.  I know my complaints are not unusual, these are complaints that everybody can have about their workplace at some point.  Every workplace ebbs and flows and mine has just ebbed in the past year.  It's not like I wasn't happy there for a few years, but after that point I probably would have naturally moved on or up.  I feel like I am stagnating, I hate that I can't have any one thing.

This shouldn't be how I feel today, I've been off work for a week and have to return tomorrow (Tuesday), but I'm just dreading it.  Bullshit happened while I was gone and I'm just tired of dealing with it, but I also cannot not care.  I wish I could.

We are still proceeding with DE.  We had a genetic counsel, which I found secretly hilarious because she said 'DH, let's start with you'.  She proceed to ask him lots of questions to discover his genetic history.  She never asked me any questions at all, which is expected, but then she shouldn't 'start' with him.  It could have been just him on the phone call, but of course I remember more of his genetic history than he does. 

I feel the need to apologize for the amount of cussing, my job makes me want to curse most of the time. 

*there are so many worse jobs that I couldn't even list them all. 

No comments:

Post a Comment