Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Puking...at Work

The most embarrassing thing happened to me last week at work. 

Just some background: I have an overactive gag reflex.  I am a picky eater, these two things together make my life kindof miserable.  It's not enough that I don't like the taste or texture of a food, my body will immediately start gagging on any 'unpleasant' taste or texture.  Needless to say this doesn't come in handy when trying new things in front of people: friends, enemies, nobody wants to see you gag on a piece of pineapple because your brain hates it so much. 

And I also have a super active puking gene... I don't know what causes it.  I hate feeling nauseous, but if I am feeling nauseous I can just bend over and puke.  Honestly, it's ridiculous.  I don't need to do anything more, just move my head slightly down and ... done.  I don't take advantage of it (unless I am having a panic attack, in which case the food is going to come out), I usually will lean my head back and take deep breaths.  Even taking my prenatal on an empty tummy can bring on this feeling.

What does this all have to do with the most embarrassing thing ever at work, well, I will tell you...

I was chilling at my standing desk, trying to take some afternoon pills.  I have a crazy pill routine, but in this case it was the Chinese herb pills, which are for some reason incredibly hard to get down.  They are not coated and will get stuck in the back of your mouth or throat.  There's nothing quite like taking a pill, swallowing a big gulp of water, only to close your  mouth and find the herbal pill hanging out on the back of your tongue.  It's disgusting, it makes you gag, and hopefully swallow another huge gulp in the desire to get it down.

Occasionally I get all cocky though and am like - two uncoated herbal pills, easy!!  This is due in part to the amount of other pills I can normally take.  See, this is a normal amount that I shove in my mouth and swallow:


This is apparently the amount of uncoated herbal pill I can take at one time:

(If I could take less I probably would.)

Last week I had a cocky moment, I shoved two coated herbal pills in my mount and swallowed them (easy), then I shoved the two uncoated ones and attempted to swallow them.  One made it half way down and the other one remained in my mouth.  I gagged, reached into my mouth quickly and pulled it out.  I breathed once and my body was all 'NO, WTF' and puked.  It was mostly water, but it was also a surprise so I wasn't leaning over or near my garbage can.  The good news is that it was all over my easily cleaned floor mat.  So I dumped the water (and pills) that was in my hand into the garbage.  Then I ran to our office kitchen to get paper towels and some hot water to clean up. 

Normally our office is super quiet, it was the middle of an afternoon, not very many people were around.  I figured it was safe to leave my cubicle and either no one would see it or, if it was seen, they would assume it was water. However, my boss walked by, who is normally NOT EVEN THERE at my work location.  Then apparently she stopped and walked back.  She called my coworker (and friend) in the cubicle next to me to ask what happened because 'it didn't look right'.  Then I ran around the corner from the kitchen and saw them standing there, analyzing whether I was sick or not.

OH MY GOD.  Humiliating.

I tried to play it off as if I had dropped water, but I saw my boss' smirk.  She thinks my IVF last month worked and I'm just being coy.  I wonder how long she'll think that...

It was easily cleaned up, even though I had to explain what happened to my friend.  I would never normally admit to puking at work, I was super embarrassed, and this is a friend I will talk about all my various pokes and prods with, so we are close. 

Also, I'm slightly dreading taking those pills again... blech!

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