Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Irons In the Fire

I have a problem at my job.  I tweeted, and then quickly deleted, an incident from last week, but thought I would explain it better on here.  I am slightly overworked at work and slightly might be an understatement.  Complicating the overwork is my boss, who doesn't know what I do and worse doesn't appear to care.  There is a process I completed last year (I am in payroll) and it was difficult and complicated, she wanted to expand it this year and asked me for 4 dates (instead of 2 for last year).  I provided 3 dates and declined in the nicest possible way, saying 'I respectfully decline and acknowledge management's right to assign me additional dates'. 

For my opinion I was called 'nearly insubordinate' and told 'you cannot refuse work unless it's illegal or immoral'.  So now my workplace officially thinks it can work me to death.  I am salaried, so there isn't any overtime.  Needless to say I am incredibly bitter about this.  I have (and you'll have to take my word for it) worked incredibly hard for this organization.  I am the hardest worker with the largest workload on my immediate team.  There literally were 2 employees doing my job until a year after I started when the other employee was moved into a different section and I have successfully completed these duties since then (6 years).

The reason my boss reacted this way might be because I have never pushed back on being assigned work.  Or it could be that this was my 4th manager and I didn't care about impressing her when she started, because I was too busy working and I didn't feel I should have to kiss yet another new manager ass.  I'm not sure and quite frankly I can't care that much about why she's being difficult, all I should focus on is myself.

My counselor and I have discussed finding a new job.  However, it seems very stressful to do while I am struggling with fertility treatments.  My counselor would rather I create a countdown to quitting, which may be what I do when a child is born.  Quitting is an option, but I also want the option to continue working.  What if stay-at-home is not my thing?  Right now I think it is, but what if it's not? 

So I have been putting out some feelers and I have a job interview at another job in a couple of weeks!  I am excited, and nervous, and if I was offered a job I'd have to be all vague about needing time off for counseling continuously and then additional medical appointments in October.  It seems like it's destined to fail, but an interview can't hurt anything.

Another option is some possible changes at my workplace.  I may shift some job duties off my desk to another employee, which would at least lighten my workload and would help me feel a little easier about working there.  It's an 'in process' as it's being discussed by management.  I hope for a positive outcome there. 

I am actually on vacation this week - so I am feeling very easy about my job and happy that I have one.  That feeling will fade when I return to work and a refrain of "I hate my job" continues to play in my head repeatedly during the day.  Actually, once I return the manager has set up a meeting to go over how we can 'work together better' in the future.  This sounds like a great idea, but I assume it will end up being a 'suck it up and work hard' meeting.

I am happy that I have a job, that it pays relatively well, that I have FMLA, that a few of my coworkers are truly amazing friends, but all of us hit a breaking point at some time.

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