Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Little This, Little That

I feel bad that I haven't written a real update in a while.  Last week I had family in town and it was awesome.  I love family!  We took them to professional games - MLS Soccer and NFL Football - and we went sightseeing too.  I was so sad when they left, I cried, which is what I always do when family leaves. 

I gave official notice at my job.  Since I was off I sent it in (via email) after business hours, my director called me the next morning and offered me what I'd been requesting and possibly 'incentives'.  I explained I was leaving and the new job was closer to home and I (gasp) told her I was taking less money to do it.  Hopefully that will be a blow, because it's not about the money.  If I was a good employee then I should have been worth it to make the changes I asked for.  I don't have the energy to find a new job or get a job offer every time I want a change or a fucking chance to learn new stuff.  It shouldn't be that big of a deal, you should want me to learn and grow and change in your organization.  You shouldn't leave me in the same exact job for 7 years and then get surprised when I leave.

Rant over. 

Monday was my first day back since giving notice.  I've had so many wonderful comments I'm going to put them in a document and take them with me so that I can remember that I do amazing work and people like me!  I feel so happy to be leaving, it's such a relief, and I'm not doing a good job of hiding it at work.  My desk all getting into order and I've made a list of all the stuff they have to do through January.  It should be ... absolutely insane for whoever takes the job.  I chatted with one coworker who was maybe interested, but she said she'd only take it if it was an 'analyst' position instead of a 'specialist' position.  I supposed there's a chance that could happen, but I doubt it.  They will probably rehire two to replace me (which is how it was when I was hired).

Onto the reason you read this blog, which is surprisingly not supposed to be about shitty work environments.  I "spoke" with my clinic yesterday (the RN coordinator and I emailed) and let them know I was just waiting for my period and then birth control would be started!  I have a phone consult with the RE next week and then I will find out the full schedule.  DH and I have a wonderful relationship, but he isn't the best communicator.  He is, however, responsible for money, so I told him last night that within a week I'd be starting the pill and meeting with the RE and asked "we are ready to go?"  I received the grunt of approval, woohoo!

I am excited and nervous and terrified.  I keep thinking I should postpone, but my life can't be on hold any longer.  Maybe my period will take extra long to arrive and I'll be able to relax more.  I'm always disappointed with myself because I feel that I shouldn't have any anxiety, I shouldn't worry during this time because it's not good for me.  I'm not making the eggs anymore, but I do worry that how much I've worried is going to be a problem.  You see how ridiculous I am at the moment.  But I'm ripping the bandaid off and moving forward!! This time of year is always horrible - steps return to school, so there's always drama and their (always overly dramatic) mother had blood clots in her lungs.  I had a night there panicked about raising two broken hearted steps, but she's made a recovery and is home from the hospital now. 

Keep me in your prayers or good juju thoughts as I start this new job.  Hopefully it will be the world's best transition and no one will make me cry!  Let's be honest, it wouldn't be hard to do on the pill...

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