Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Falling Apart

My counselor said that anxiety would increase prior to transfer.  I'm not a big fan of anxiety, so I am working hard on keeping calm and accepting how anxious I feel.  There are some personal family issues going on with my step kids that boiled over tonight and is worrying me.  I'm not going to explain what in case my anonymity is breached someday (it probably wouldn't be hard), but basically I worry about one of them.  I only want them both to grow up being healthy and happy adults.  It's hard to be a step-parent, I get a decent amount of worry without any of the responsibility (for lack of a better word).  I don't get to be involved in discipline or raising the child, especially true as a stepmom with a weekend dad.  I have been made acutely aware that only one person really matters for these children, and that is their mother.  She has made them feel this way, everything is "poor her" (always, always drama) and that has rubbed off so much on both her children.  I'm just worried, I want them to be ok.

One of my cats, the one I suspected wasn't feeling great in the Stressors post, he seemed to be improving.  He didn't seem to be drinking as much water and he had become withdrawn a little bit.  I didn't think too much of it since cats typically go through phases ("I love you", "eh, you're ok from over here", "OMG get away lady!").  When I was getting ready for bed DH said that Josh's (the cat) butt was wet and maybe he was having problem peeing?  We made plans that I would take him to the vet tomorrow.  I finished getting ready...

Then I walked into our bedroom and my DH was standing there looking very concerned.  He told me to take a look at Josh's butt, so I did, and I found a full fissure had opened up next to his anus (sorry for the words, but I don't know how else to describe it).  We immediately decided emergency Vet was in order, our clinic is associated with one, so I called and they said to bring him in.  DH is taking him, but I don't have high hopes.  I was pretty sure Josh had diabetes when he was drinking all that water, so I am worried that it has suddenly become more serious.  I will be very sad to say goodbye to him, I should be more positive, but it really looks bad.  DH says I'm not a vet, but we will see. 

This is a downer post, I'm sorry.  I get my fertilization report tomorrow morning and I was so nervous about that, but all of this has pushed that out of my head. 

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