Sunday, December 7, 2014

Less Scared, More Hopeful

It's the middle of Sunday, so time to actually have energy to write an article!  Did you miss me?

On Thursday DH and I went for a second ultrasound at the RE.  Another scan showed the same 3 babies, A, B and C, hanging out, growing on schedule, all with amazing heartbeats - baby A with 171, and the twins with 168 each.  I cried, my DH laughed and asked what I expected, I didn't really know what I expected.  The night before I had laid awake and thought 'there's still 3 in there', but even that didn't really prepare me.

We discussed with my RE what the risks were.  The risks are premature birth, but they don't know what causes it (although I've read some research about infections, etc).  The REs advice was 'whatever you do, don't regret the choice you've made'.  DH and I briefly discussed it, but we are on the same page about reduction, we could not do it unless there was a problem and then it would be a discussion.  We aren't guaranteed any babies now, you can have a preterm single baby, you can have a preterm set of twins, and you can have a preterm set of triplets.  Of course the risk is much higher with triplets, but there's still no guarantees.  We can't make a decision because we are scared of the preterm risk, there's also the risk inherent in reduction too.

Other things we learned: babies are attached is good places.  Twins appear to be MonoDi, meaning they are identical but have separate yolks and gestational sacs, the MFM will have to make the final call on it though.    The RE gave us a referral to a set of MFMs, but the next day when I called I found out they only had access to the level 3 NICU in town, and so I called back to get a referral to a practice with access to the level 4 NICU.  My DH did all this research for me, which is great of him!  I was a little annoyed with the first practice because they told me the two NICUs were 'comparable'...which is not necessarily true.

I actually was excited for about two days, even though I was feeling a little worse (nausea wise) each day.  But remembering the somber look on my REs face has brought me back down to earth slightly, I know that he doesn't consider this a success.  I understand why, but I still have hope that it will be a success for me.

Then I also was a little worried the MFM will give me a 'hard sell' on reduction, but my DH assures me this is not so.  I am feeling a little better about going in to see one of them and need an appointment next week or I will have to go back and see my RE again to do a check.  I guess the 'good' thing about triplets is a lot of scans.

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